


He's gone

by Slyaa_134



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Can be read as platonic Sheith, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) Friendship, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Keith/Shiro (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Pidge | Katie Holt is Savage, SHEITH - Freeform, Space Mom Allura (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 13:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16265615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slyaa_134/pseuds/Slyaa_134
Summary: Shiro's gone and there's nothing Keith can do about it.





	1. Chapter 1

Shiro's gone. 

There's a cruel irony to that. In the sand, Keith was able to sense the Blue lion calling to him and honed intuitively on its unfamiliar energy. In the stars, Keith cannot feel Shiro- still he searches. He searches irrationally at first, his mind too clouded to focus right. Keith searches methodically after he allows himself time to think- he and red sift through the debris of their last battle over and over again. 

Unlike Kerbos, Keith has more information, more leads to help him figure out where Shiro has gone. Somehow, this makes everything worse. Shiro has disappeared again and again, Keith is unable to face it. When it matters most Keith cannot keep his word, he cannot save Shiro. Keith hurts.

It's been months and Keith's search still goes on. He's been through there star systems already- meticulously working his way through the debris until it's burned into his memory. When he closes his eyes, Keith can see every individual piece of rubble, he still finds himself searching through it. He wonders constantly if he's missed something because when he closes his eyes, he still sees the debris that tore Shiro from the black lion. It's the same debris that tears through Keith. 

Even in this he still finds nothing. 

It's not okay. There's this yearning inside of him, it burns bright inside of him, to know. He can't, he won't, let it go. He has to know what happened to Shiro- he needs tangible proof, only then will he, possibly, let Shiro go. So Keith keeps searching and searching, a process that is no where near cathartic. The lack of results alarming.

Pidge approached him in the hanger after another failed attempt once. He'd tore off his hemlet, gasping for air. Failing Shiro was suffocating, heart wrenching. After, he had waited by the red lion- expecting lecture, but Pidge had said nothing. Quietly, Keith wondered who sent her- maybe Allura. When their eyes had finally met Keith had seen it. It was right there, underneath the many layers of emotions, but it was there. Pity, for him, for the silent suffering nobody could understand. They were only a few feet away from each other and yet there was millions of miles spanning between them.

( And yet, it's still nothing compared to the space the universe has put between him and Shiro. )

He wondered if maybe she understood, how it felt to lose Shiro. After all, Pidge had lost father and her brother. Shiro was the last connection to them- and he was gone. The difference was she knew when to stop, Keith however, could not abandon his sedulous efforts to find Shiro. 

"You've been been very dedicated to your search." She finally spoke just as Keith took two steps foward. He could hear the question within her sentence even if she didn't. 'How long? How long are you going to do this to yourself?' It brought Keith to a stand still- fist clenched at his side. Keith's answer had been a simple nod, he couldn't bring himself to speak. There was a chance that if he did, the tornado forming inside of him would force it's way out of him- tearing it's way through not just him but everyone and everything. Without looking back Keith retreated back to his room, 'however long it takes' screaming in his heart.

Keith has lost Shiro before to the universe- he has had Shiro torn from his life once. Was that not enough? This time he's defiant, standing in front of a target- a cross bow leveled at his chest by the universe itself, daring it to shoot. The universe doesn't, but he still feels the impact of the arrow in his chest.

The other paladins grow worried about him. ( or about Voltron, which it really Is Keith isn't sure. ) they mean well, but they don't understand- Keith isn't sure they ever will. He cannot cease searching, even if it has become pointless now, he needs closure. There's something that doesn't make sense with Shiro's disappearing act, ( Lance called it that once ) something Keith cannot seem to put his finger on.

He goes and sits in the black lion one day. His presence wakes her.


	2. Chapter 2

He can't help but vomit, heeving onto the pristine floor of the mechanical lion. He knows this means something he is not ready to face. If Shiro was still here- if there was any chance of the Orignial black paladin returning, the black lion would have remained dormat until he did. It's this ugly truth that has Keith doubled over emptying the contents of his stomach. There's a hand wrapped around his throat intent on strangling him, forcing him to gasp for air. That's how it feels.

Keith cannot fill Shiro's shoes.

He is not the only one who knows this, the other paladins do too. The reaction to the black lion moving again and awaking from her long slumber is just as he expected. Allura and Coran are relieved. Now, they can move on with the mission to eradicate the race that caused the destruction of their planet. Hunk is confused- if Keith is piloting the black lion now, who pilots red? Lance is furious, it's written across his features in ink. Keith knows if there was any chance that any of the paladins could fly the black lion Lance wanted it. 

When they congratulate him, it's too forced- all tight smiles and over the top cheers. 

( Pidge is the only one who doesn't say anything. )

Keith knows she sees through him. Pidge has always been able to see right through his bullshit to the gentle heart that rests inside of a heavily guarded cage. It takes him back to that night in the red lions hanger- he feels as he's going to get lecture once more. Just like in the Red lions hanger she only speaks when Keith has moved to leave the room. 

"You don't want to pilot his lion" Pidge hadn't asked him, it was a statement. She's always been one to particularize everything- even the littlest things. It terrfied him how quick she had come to the conclusion without needing to search through the wreckage that was Keith's emotions. It was a simple sentence not meant to cut through him the way it did. Maybe it was the way she phrased it, calling the large mechanical cat his lion, instead of black. It carves a deeper wound in his chest- making it hard to catch what little air he was allowing himself to take in at the moment. 

"Would you?" Keith was quick to retort, his mouth reckless as ever, "if it was your father or if it was your brother? would you jump at the chance to take over something they worked so hard at?" The tornado inside of Paladin twisted violently, forcing itself out of him. Keith has already been destroyed by the massive swirl of winds and Pidge was the neighboring town unaware of the danger approaching. "You were ready to leave Voltron over to find your family- to find the people that made you happy." None of what Keith was saying could compare to the final blow he delivers. 

"At least if Shiro died, I was there by his side." The red paladin hisses. In that moment when their eyes meet once again - Galaxies unfolded between them, forcing them apart. There was a sick and twisted part of him that enjoys watching his fellow paladin curl in on herself and her eyes fill to the brim with tears. Keith tells himself what she felt was nothing compared to the gaping wound in his chest that left behind when he lost Shiro. 

He could not bring himself to look at her again and instead turning on his heels walking away from the only one who had remotely understood his sadness. 

( 'I'm sorry' echoes in his footsteps. )

Keith know's Pidge will not hate him, she sees his hurt while no one else notices. ( or they chose not to.) Everyone is grieving in their own way. Allura and Coran thrusts themselves into work- from when the paladins rise in the morning to way past the time for all of them to rest. 

Lance laughs and jokes pretending everything is normal. Behind his mask is a broken boy, still reeling from the disapperance of his long time hero. While Lance tries to create a warm atmosphere, Hunk bakes. As simple as it sounds, It helps the yellow paladin with his stress. He bakes to give Keith something to eat when he comes home from another failed search. 

Pidge tinkers, creating upgrades for the lions. The green paladin works herself to the bone, creating massive amounts of tech for the cats ( some useful others not so much ) and in her spare time, she tries to track Shiro using any method possible. Each time, she's unsuccessful. 

Keith doesn't allow himself to grieve. Why grieve when he knows Shiro is alive and waiting for him out there. So, Keith searches and searches. He searches no matter what. Every failed attempt only forces him to work harder.

( the other paladins wish he would just let go.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter! Please be patient with me, I might not be my best work but I'm trying to get something out to you guys! I'm very busy, I have my drivers test tomorrow and im applying to college for the next few weeks. You can expect chapter four maybe Thursday or Friday! My latest should be Saturday! Hope you enjoy the story so far!

Keith doesn't speak with Pidge for the best three days. He does his best to avoid her, only speaking to her during mission planning and training. Outside of their duties, Keith is a ghost, there for the hour required and gone straight after. Most of the time he finds himself locked in his room, curled up against the headboard of his bed and pressed against the wall that connects his room to Shiro's. Sometimes he presses his hand against the boring white wall, thinking maybe Shiro will be doing the same. 

No one dares to enter Shiro's room. 

It's a new unspoken rule in the Castle, nobody goes in there. They treat it like a crime scene- as if there's yellow tape telling them not to step past the door way. Sometimes it's treated like a memorial, you can stand in the door way and look around, but do not touch any of the items in it. Shiro's room has become a museum for the Castle residents. Shiro's room is the only thing holding the team together surprisingly. Sometimes on his way to his room Keith sees one of the six members of the team standing just outside of it, whispering against the door. 

Out of the paladins who should visit Shiro's room, Keith avoids it like the plague. 

It isn't that he doesn't want to go to Shiro's room, Keith cannot handle it. He knows to go in there will shatter what little resistance he's built up to crying. Shiro's room will be filled with unfinished tasks- tasks he's never gotten around to and could possible never get around to at this point. It is a possibility Keith has been doing his best to ignore.

it is a possibly that keith can no longs ignore when Allura calls a team meeting. For the most part, she's has been doing her best to stay strong in the face of such pain Allura has been their rock.  
"Shiro has been missing for some time now, I think it's best we move on." The thing about Allura is when she speaks, she commands the attention in the room. 

It only takes a few ticks, before the room explodes with the paladins reactions.

"We can't just move on! He's was our team mate" Hunk counters.  
"You might be right, but that doesn't mean we are ready to leave Shiro behind." Lance replies.  
"I'm not giving up on Shiro." Pidge snaps. Keith wondered when they started using past tense when referring to the black paladin.

The red paladin knows they are waiting for his reactions. It's more than that, they are waiting for him to explode on Allura, to tear her to shreds for suggesting something so ridiculous.the thing was, Keith had nothing to say right now. His heart was aching, he was still reeling from what Allura had suggested. 

The Princess held up one hand to silence the paladins, her eyes begging them to listen one more. "Paladind please. I understand your feelings. But we must look forward. We are fighting a war, Zarkon will not stop because the disappearance of our beloved Black paladin." Allura spoke gently, trying to reach the paladins. "It is time to move on, to find a new black paladin and I think we already have."

One by one Keith felt the eyes of his teams on him and he turned his head toward them, leveling a feirce glare at each of them. "I'd rather right Zarkon alone than take the place of Shiro."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on Twitter if you want to follow me and chat about this story! I'm always excited to here what you guys have to say about the story. I'm also in need of an editor since I have no time to edit things myself with everything going on in my life! 
> 
> Please email me the following if you want to be an editor:  
> Name,  
> Age,  
> Three things about yourself  
> Editing skills on a scale of one to ten!
> 
> My email is ryanmelton134@gmail.com!


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